THE FISH

Theme Thursday’s prompt #57 is Fish, http://themethursday.blogspot.com/2011/10/thursday-october-13-2011-fish.html. Now, I’m a fisherman. I love to fish, so this would seem to be a natural for me, but with my propensity to experiment lately, I’m going to again post a rough draft. One reason for the rough draft status is my attempt in the first two lines to knowingly use anapest meter (two unstressed syllables followed by one stressed syllable). I was going to write the whole poem in anapest, but I simply couldn’t make it work. Most of the rest of the poem in iambic. You can see how the different meters clash.

THE FISH
by Mike Patrick

Huntin' & Fishin' Trophies

As a child on the bank with his dad,
his first fish found its way to his worm.
There, beneath the tiny weeping willow’s green,
a very special kind of love was born.

Though never caught before, the trophy bass
was first brought thumping to the shore;
to where this child unhooked the hook,
and let the giant fish go free once more.

As a kid, with a crooked hat and smile,
he spent the sunny summer days upon that bank.
The times of willow poles passed by with age—
to graphite rods and fancy reels that crank.

From childhood to adult, he caught that fish
a dozen times, keeping nothing but his pride;
each time, he set his trophy free;
a ritual, had somehow become a rite.

As a dad on the bank with his child,
that mammoth bass beneath the giant willow tree
again attacked a youngster’s lure. With tears,
the father watched his son . . . set the monster free.

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This entry was posted in Anapest, Childhood, Children, Family, Fish, Iambic, Love, Mixed Meter, Narrative Poem, Nature, Poetry, Rhyming, Theme Thursday, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to THE FISH

  1. vivinfrance says:

    Mike, I see nothing wrong with mixing different feet in the one poem – in fact I do it all the time. The trick seems to be to keep the same number of stressed beats regardless of whether one or two short beats precedes (or follows) the stress. I love your fishing story – adds another dimension to the romantic cop image that I have of you.

    • Mike Patrick says:

      I thought it stuttered when I shifted meter. I so wanted to write the whole thing in anapest, but I couldn’t come up with enough words to fit. Now, about that romantic cop image; Sandy just fell out of her chair.

  2. brian says:

    very cool…i fish and have fished with my sons and it is a great thing to pass along…love that the fish crossed generations as well…that is some fish…nice capture…

  3. What an interesting and nicely told story Mike. Love the ending line the most.
    Great read.

  4. Karen says:

    Gave me chills. Beautiful story in beautiful verse!!

  5. geri-Mom says:

    Such a beautiful story! You expressed the emotions so vividly…I could feel them while I was reading…

  6. Beautifully expressed Mike. I like the way you ended the story. Very touching 🙂

  7. I agree with Brian, go ahead and do what you want with the meter. Poetic license! Here are some rules to break and not get ticketed. :0) I like the feel of the anapest. Must try it some time.

  8. Mrsupole says:

    I can only say that the poem told a story that made us see it in our mind. And in the ending made us feel the sense of pride felt by the dad. That is truly all one can ask of a poem. Whatever you did or didn’t use, worked.

    Thanks for joining in on Theme Thursday.

    God bless.

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