The words for The Sunday Whirl’s http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2011/11/27/wordle-32/ Wordle #32 are: rush, mellow, gullible, rustle, smug, shudder, fulcrum, sunshine, ruddy, untidy, subliminal, and spinning. They proved to be very difficult for me with the words ‘fulcrum, subliminal’ and ‘ruddy’ driving me crazy. I wrote two complete failures before the first line of While Waiting came to me. It’s another of those poems that will receive a makeover sometime in the future because there is a lot of room for improvement.

by Mike Patrick

Image from The Sunday Wordle

While waiting for another love,
how shall I spend my time?
Shall I rush forth,
gullibly searching for another you?

Shall I wait within my room,
smug in my belief
that pain mellows with age
and love can’t die?

Do I hide in the dark
of my now untidy life and shudder?
How should one face a life
without sunshine,
without ruddy sunsets,
without hope?

You were my fulcrum,
the point that kept my life
from spinning out of control.

Perhaps my time is better spent
within our bedroom’s warmth,
waiting for the subliminal message
of your skirt
rustling as you undress
in my dreams?

This entry was posted in A Wording Whirl of Sundays, Depression, Free Verse, Lost Love, Poetry, Un-rhyming and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to WHILE WAITING

  1. Susannah says:

    I think this is incredible beautiful.

    I love what you did with these wordle words.

  2. vivinfrance says:

    I think this is one of the best love poems you have written – and you have written some beauties already!

  3. If this is your own ‘voice’ narrating, I truly hope you find love to share again. There’s nothing can beat it, is there.

  4. zumpoems says:

    Wow! Great images and writing. “You were my fulcrum, the point that kept my life from spinning out of control.” What a great written metaphor. Very well done!

  5. Nicely written Mike. Funny how this particular hit me square in the forehead. Seems like it was written for me. Take care my friend

  6. pmwanken says:

    I agree with ViV. I love this lovely love poem. 😉 I especially liked the 3rd stanza.

  7. earlybird says:

    Lovely, Mike. I particularly like ‘your skirt
    rustling as you undress
    in my dreams?’

  8. Tilly Bud says:

    Sad but oh, so lovely. Wonderful, Mike.

  9. Marianne says:

    Memories of a great love tinged with sadness … bittersweet piece!

  10. Mike, I am not so sure I agree with this needing a makeover. That last stanza is absolutely gorgeous. Difficult words brought together beautifully.


  11. geri=MomIt says:

    you really are a wonderful poet, Mike…you are converting me. I’m a person who really does not have an appreciation for poetry, yet I love many of yours, including this one and immature souls. They feel so real…like you are talking about yourself….

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