Prompt #122, for Carry On Tuesday,, was taken from the opening or a poem by Crystallynn Barringer, “When I look into your eyes.”

One of my first attempts at free verse started with just such a line. In its original form, it was acceptable perhaps, but I’ve never looked at an old poem without wanting to update it. This is the updated version. Only a couple of lines escaped editing.

by Mike Patrick

Flickr image by John Tones

I look into your eyes
and feel myself falling
soft and slow.
An Alice-type wonderland
stretches before me.
I caress sun-tanned meadows
and climb rose capped hills
as fantasies come alive.
You are the only character,
whispering in my ear
as I spin in place.
No secrets live here.
As light dims,
I seek the place where my eyes
can look into your soul,
and find yours looking into mine.
This dream has no end.
As the light flares again,
you’re still here.

This entry was posted in Carry On Tuesday, Free Verse, Love, Poetry, Un-rhyming and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to ROSE CAPPED HILLS

  1. fantastic…smart use of the prompt.

  2. Wow, for a first, this is actually very nice Mike. Contratulations

  3. viv blake says:

    I like your free verse romantic mode, Mike.

  4. Beautiful Mike. I love these lines “I caress sun-tanned meadows, and climb rose capped hills”. Well done 🙂

  5. Nanka says:

    Something soft and romantic in this poem and one gets the feel right from the Title on wards!!

  6. geri-Mom says:

    What a beautiful love story. Is the orignial poem on an earlier post?

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