For Poets United Thursday Think Tank #65, http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com/2011/09/thursday-think-tank-65-windows.html#more, the prompt was “window.” They wanted us to think about it for a while before writing and posting. I thought long enough to try to come up with a different angle.

by Mike Patrick

Flickr image by terpstra.peter

It’s two in the morning
on a night that’s been too quiet.
A single car creeps on the street
from an alley or back lot.

Positioned so my headlights sweep
the car from end to end,
I’ll soon know if this thing
belongs to foe or friend.

The windows tinted almost black,
a gang-banger signature,
no way to see within
with tint’s deep specular.

Low-profile tires quickly confirm
suspicions that I got:
too costly for my residents.
It may be someone dealing pot

or coming here to make a buy.
The license check: not of file.
Suspicious once again,
I’ll just tag along awhile.

The driver knows I’m behind,
He follows every law.
Before long, he’ll make mistakes
and on his back I’ll fall.

And now he tries another ploy,
he pulls onto a church’s lot.
Not being born yesterday,
I think I’ll foil his plot.

Unsnap the gun, and pull it free,
I keep it in my hand.
I pick my spot and stop behind
the place he chose to make his stand.

I step out on the parking lot
and keep behind my door.
The driver slowly steps in view,
and I wave to Reverend Moore.

This entry was posted in Crime, Iambic, Mixed Meter, Narrative Poem, Poetry, Poets United, Rhyming, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to TINTED WINDOW BIAS

  1. viv blake says:

    Great story! If you ever read this aloud, I defy you to speak this line without spluttering: “with tints so specular.”

  2. shanyns says:

    Very well done, nice twist at the end. 🙂

  3. Which just goes to show, you can’t judge a book by its cover.
    A lovely write Mike!

  4. Susannah says:

    🙂 Aaah, you certainly put a twist in this tale. Nice one!

  5. Old Ollie says:

    funny and modern, thus cool – good poem!

  6. Janet says:

    Aw shucks. I thought you got really got ’em this time:) Very poignant lesson in this entertaining read.

  7. Don’t you love when that happens? My judgement time has increased ten-fold since reaching the half century mark. Stop / Look / Listen / Repeat. Great piece.

  8. Heaven says:

    Nice form.. this is always a challeng for me.

    Creative spin on the prompt….What and where could he have been so early in the morning?

    Preconceived notions (even profiling) – we all have them ~

    • Mike Patrick says:

      I suppose the Lord’s work is never done, but you are right. Consciously or unconsciously, we make positive and negative associations. They never reach the strength of natural law, but even if they did, there are always the exceptions.

  9. The tinted-window angle on this prompt was very different from many I read.. a sinister reminder that windows may hide many evils.

  10. Kim Nelson says:

    I felt your policeman adrenaline running, your officer’s mind working the details. Of course, your ending surprised and delighted, but I must tell you, Mike, you took me into that car. I became first voice. This is very well done.

    • Mike Patrick says:

      I loved my job for a lot of reasons even I don’t understand. Cops become adrenaline junkies. Every watch is an adventure and once in a while there is heart-stopping fear. I still miss it every day.

  11. Renee Espriu says:

    You had me going until the end, Mike. Tinted windows all around us now and your thoughts have been mine at one time or another. Well done!

  12. Ella says:

    I too, felt like I was in pursuit! You had a lot of suspense and tension which added to the poem. I kept thinking there would be a fractured view, things not as they appear! Nice…

  13. adeeyoyo says:

    Well done, Mike. Teaches us not to judge too fast…

  14. geri-Mom says:

    I loved the light hearted twist at the end. Mike, you are converting me. I think I just may find some appreciation for peotry that I never knew I had!!

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