A BREATHLESS SIGH

Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/, is wanting us to try out a rondelet: a seven line French poem with several tricks up its sleeve. For one, they use the same refrain on the first, third and seventh lines. Next, it throws in a tricky syllable count for each line: 4, 8, 4, 8, 8, 8, 4. Then, the rhyme scheme is sneaky: A-B-A-A-B-B-A. Finally, it is traditionally written in iambic meter. All that leads up to one heck of a fun poem.

A BREATHLESS SIGH
By Mike Patrick

A breathless sigh
speaks louder than a loving shout.
A breathless sigh,
as lightly you caress my thigh,
proclaims to me the night’s too loud.
I know I’ll never have to doubt
a breathless sigh.

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This entry was posted in Iambic, Love, Mixed Meter, Poetry, Real Toads, Rhyming, Rondelet and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to A BREATHLESS SIGH

  1. Sweet rondelet. I have not tried one. You did a great job. Lots of rules I see. Maybe some day. *sighs* You made it look easy but I am sure it was a good puzzle. I am working o a Sonetto Rispetto..:)

  2. Ella says:

    I love your imagery; I really like this poetic exercise~ Yours holds magic qualities~

  3. siggiofmaine says:

    I like this A LOT.
    As soon as the summer’s dust settles, will have to try this form.
    Thank you for the wonderful post.
    ☮ ♥ Siggi in Downeast Maine

  4. Beautiful. You make the form look easy – and I know it is not. Intriguing form, and so well done.

  5. viv blake says:

    Lovely – romantic, as is your wont, and expertly constructed. I’ve copied yours as an example to me when trying the form!

  6. Excellent Mike. This has been on my to do list for a while. You’ve done a great job with this one!

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Pare down that list and give it a try, Norma. I think the rondelet would fit you. Once I got over the feeling that Rondelets were a singing group from the 60s, it was fun.

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Pare down that list and give it a try, Norma. I think the rondelet would fit you. Once I got over the feeling that Rondelets were a singing group from the 60s I should be listening to, it was fun.

  7. I think following any form provides discipline which gives the writer a more focused approach to their work, which can’t be bad…
    A gentle rondolet from you, sir…

  8. Jinksy says:

    I’m all for quiet nights! 🙂

  9. earlybird says:

    Oh my goodness! My head’s spinning just reading the rules!

    Nice sentiment, Mike.

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Each of those requirements are like ingredients in a recipe. Individually, they are simple. By mixing one ingredient after another, a poem appears. You are my favorite non-poet writer, and probably the best writer among us. With your mastery of cooking and writing, this is a poetry form you could cook into an opus; besides, it’s a French form. I would love to see you give it a try.

  10. This is just superb.. I think it’s my fave so far… Just so lovely.

    • Mike Patrick says:

      You are very kind, Kerry, but wait until you read all the postings from the challenge. This form has brought out some of the best writing I’ve seen. For a form I originally thought of as strange and awkward, it produced some amazing poems.

  11. Leonargo says:

    That seriously stopped me in my tracks…. Will have to try this ! Thanks for sharing.

  12. Ella says:

    Mike I so agree with you; I wish I had known about this form before. It is intriguing; it captures and redirects the spotlight~

  13. Pingback: The Breath of Spring « Poetry and Icecream

  14. adeeyoyo says:

    Stunningly beautiful. I, too, run away from set forms, but I must say this runs so smoothly, so naturally that it doesn’t sound at least forced. Congratulations, Mike!

  15. Old Raven says:

    I loved this poem … no, this “Rondolet.” It seems to have rolled right off the tongue without effort. It possesses confidence!

  16. Mary says:

    Beautiful and gentle rondelet, Mike! I like your take!

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