A new friend recently reminded me of the beauty of a bygone time’s romance language. When I saw wordle #19 in The Sunday Whirl, http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/, the words looked like they had been selected for poetry from that period. How could I pass up the chance to jot a Shakespearean sonnet?
The words for this week are: residue, turn, skins, truth, dust, trunk, matter, breeze, cloak, vessel, sweeps, fervent.
THE CHALLENGE
By Mike Patrick
Flickr image by eschipul
Thou dare to don the cloak of innocence
with residue of fervent sin still plain
upon thy soul? Thou speak grandiloquence
all whilst thy honor lies before thee slain.
No oratory breeze can sweep out truth,
though turned to dust within thy vessel of
uncommon lies; those which you use in routh.
Unless thou wish to face my blade, my love’s
engaging laugh should ne’er fall on thy ears.
It matters not what trunk of parchment skins
doth hold thou vaulted verse which draws her tears.
Sleep well this night, tomorrow ends your sins
as angry words will not my weapon be.
My bride reserves her love for none but me.
The Poet's Quill 
Good combination of wordle and sonnet.
Aw, Viv, I was expecting a more scathing response. You are getting soft in your dotage, but thank you for the dispensation.
I held back because you are my friend. The archaisms are an anachronism,. There,
I’ve said it. You’re very good at this style, but I can’t pretend to like it.
I know, Viv, but this time I had an ulterior motive . . . well, that and I just really love ye olde language.
btw, I am not – repeat not – quite in my dotage!
OMG! This is stunning Mike! Love the language. So Gallant. Did not even notice the wordle words.
No oratory breeze can sweep out truth
Wonderful line here. Brava!
This one was fun, a little like time-travel.
This is impressive! Love it! You did this on purpose? Luring me in???:) Of all the links, this one tempted me immediately. Title is so perfect. You did the language proud:)
‘new friend’
Thanks, Janet. I hope to see you post a wordle poem. I know you can do better than this.
That was wonderfully amazing!
Once in a while, one has to just swing a sword and see what it hits.
This is wonderful. I admire anyone who can produce a poem in any kind of structured format and this one flows beautifully. And it is perfect for the words in the wordle. Thank you too for visiting my blog.
I agree that the words were ideal for the form. My muse didn’t even have to wake up for this one.
Oh you make it sound so easy – loved this take on the words!
The wordle made this one easy. Once in a while, the words just come together.
Ahhh the duel over the lady fair… delightful and loved the olde tyme language used Mike. Wonderful verse, very vivid imagery too.
A charming Shakespearean sonnet! A smitten narrator is so in character. You’re a natural for the structured form, Mike.
He was a fun persona to put on–like a cloak?
Mike, this was a wonderful response to the wordle. Isn’t it wonderful when words just flow like they did when you wrote this poem. Wordles often have that effect on me too!
Great piece… I really like the ending!
Oh, I love a good sonnet, Mike, and this one is excellent. A lover’s duel in perfect form.
Very impressive 🙂
Really beautiful, Mike. Just one question, sorry, shouldn’t ‘you’ be ‘thee’ in the first stanza:
‘…thy honor lies before you slain.’ Please don’t hesitate to shout at me if I’m wrong… and don’t think I’m being picky…
Good catch, Denise. My persona cloak must have slipped for a second. Oh oh. When I went back and changed it to “thou,” it didn’t sound right. I tried “thee,” and it seemed better, but I can’t articulate why. My days of being able to diagram a sentence are at least forty-five years behind me. I may have unscrewed it one way and screwed it another.
I loved it, it flowed so well and you managed to pull off a shakespearean sonnet liberally laced with wordle words! I am very impressed. 🙂
Really enjoyed this….
“Thou dare to don the cloak of innocence
with residue of fervent sin still plain
upon thy soul?”
I could hear it spoken.
Mike we get to see a lot of such scenes in Indian movies 🙂 and it took me to the theater. Picture me sitting at the edge of my seat for a nail biting finish!! Applause!! ..and the house is full!!
Thank you, Nanka. You have me wondering how much difference there is between Indian and American movies. I would hope yours are better than most of the stuff Hollywood puts out; however, I see the sonnet being performed on stage–I wish.
Seems to have been a good day for sonnets, and this has the authentic classical touch, with your own brand of originality. I enjoyed it immensely.
It was a good day for sonnets. I so enjoyed yours.
Mike, a wonderful sonnet and a masterful write. I was leaving a comment and my internet died out for a few minutes, so this may be a duplicate.
Pamela
Nope, only got one, Pamela. My internet connection acting froggy has me writing everything in Word lately. My Word program is set to automatically save every five minutes. We’ve had two workmen working on the house connection and up the nearby utility poles. It’s looking like things are fixed, but I’m not ready to lose a couple of hours of work to find out.
You write sonnets very well, Mike. it’s a talent. Not too many people know how to write it, including me. I should try this some time. 🙂
Oh, definitely try it. I wrote my first sonnet about six months ago. I believe the discipline of the form, iambic pentameter, and the rhyming scheme, helped all my writing more than anything else I’ve ever done.
Yu can poem – that was great.
Thank you, and you can write. Interesting new blog you have there. I’m still trying to figure it/you out–but you can write.
A great poem Mike.
I’ve never tried a sonnet, looks complicated, but I feel inspired to have a go.
Give one a go, Mike. They are easier than first appearance would imply, and they are very satisfying.
Well, of course the pacifist is going to wish they would all “play nicely,” but reality is that this is set in the decade of damsels in distress, so…
Nicely written sonnet, Michael! I would (if intending to submit for publication) change “thou speak” to “thou speakest,” and is it “within THY vessel” instead of “thou vessel,” or are you addressing the vessel? (Oh, Lord, this is all starting to rhyme… mine head swimmest and fully…)
Good stuff, Mike! On to the Round Table! Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/third-eye-of-the-sightless-woman-dverse/
Brave thou art, Sir Michael–especially to attempt a sonnet! Bravo!
Fun poem, Mike – sounded like something I’d expect to hear at a Ren fair right before a staged duel. The only suggestion I have is this: in the third stanza, “thou” probably would read better as “thy” in “thou vaulted verse.”
Thank you, Traci. That’s two wonderful readers who agree on thy. Correction made. I’d like to go to one of those fairs.
Really admire your willingness to place yourself in another time and its language. I too, did not notice the wordle words, too caught up in the scene you created. Bravo,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
Mike, I applaud you for combining those wordle words into a sonnet, which you did beautifully. I think you found a most appropriate form. And the subject matter too, most apropos for a Shakespearean sonnet. And it was fun reading the comments and watching you Viv swish blades at each other.
Richard
Thanks, Richard. Viv’s and my blades are padded. I love her like a sister, and she knows it. She is the only friend I feel free to play with like that. Not everyone has the privilege of knowing someone they trust completely. Mostly, I trust her judgement about poems, even if I ignore it from time to time. I’m blessed.
there is nothing so rich as a knight his honor and love poetry… shakespear sonnet is well and alive…
Yes, before chivalry died. I was born four centuries too early.