THE CHALLENGE

A new friend recently reminded me of the beauty of a bygone time’s romance language. When I saw wordle #19 in The Sunday Whirl, http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/, the words looked like they had been selected for poetry from that period. How could I pass up the chance to jot a Shakespearean sonnet?

The words for this week are: residue, turn, skins, truth, dust, trunk, matter, breeze, cloak, vessel, sweeps, fervent.

THE CHALLENGE
By Mike Patrick

Flickr image by eschipul

Thou dare to don the cloak of innocence
with residue of fervent sin still plain
upon thy soul? Thou speak grandiloquence
all whilst thy honor lies before thee slain.

No oratory breeze can sweep out truth,
though turned to dust within thy vessel of
uncommon lies; those which you use in routh.
Unless thou wish to face my blade, my love’s

engaging laugh should ne’er fall on thy ears.
It matters not what trunk of parchment skins
doth hold thou vaulted verse which draws her tears.
Sleep well this night, tomorrow ends your sins

as angry words will not my weapon be.
My bride reserves her love for none but me.

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This entry was posted in A Wording Whirl of Sundays, Iambic, Love, Pentameter, Poetry, Rhyming, Sonnet and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

46 Responses to THE CHALLENGE

  1. vivinfrance says:

    Good combination of wordle and sonnet.

  2. TheMsLvh says:

    OMG! This is stunning Mike! Love the language. So Gallant. Did not even notice the wordle words.

    No oratory breeze can sweep out truth

    Wonderful line here. Brava!

  3. Janet says:

    This is impressive! Love it! You did this on purpose? Luring me in???:) Of all the links, this one tempted me immediately. Title is so perfect. You did the language proud:)

    ‘new friend’

  4. anl4 says:

    That was wonderfully amazing!

  5. Peggy Goetz says:

    This is wonderful. I admire anyone who can produce a poem in any kind of structured format and this one flows beautifully. And it is perfect for the words in the wordle. Thank you too for visiting my blog.

  6. Ahhh the duel over the lady fair… delightful and loved the olde tyme language used Mike. Wonderful verse, very vivid imagery too.

  7. Irene says:

    A charming Shakespearean sonnet! A smitten narrator is so in character. You’re a natural for the structured form, Mike.

  8. Mary says:

    Mike, this was a wonderful response to the wordle. Isn’t it wonderful when words just flow like they did when you wrote this poem. Wordles often have that effect on me too!

  9. Laurie Kolp says:

    Great piece… I really like the ending!

  10. brenda w says:

    Oh, I love a good sonnet, Mike, and this one is excellent. A lover’s duel in perfect form.

  11. adeeyoyo says:

    Really beautiful, Mike. Just one question, sorry, shouldn’t ‘you’ be ‘thee’ in the first stanza:

    ‘…thy honor lies before you slain.’ Please don’t hesitate to shout at me if I’m wrong… and don’t think I’m being picky…

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Good catch, Denise. My persona cloak must have slipped for a second. Oh oh. When I went back and changed it to “thou,” it didn’t sound right. I tried “thee,” and it seemed better, but I can’t articulate why. My days of being able to diagram a sentence are at least forty-five years behind me. I may have unscrewed it one way and screwed it another.

  12. Susannah says:

    I loved it, it flowed so well and you managed to pull off a shakespearean sonnet liberally laced with wordle words! I am very impressed. 🙂

    Really enjoyed this….
    “Thou dare to don the cloak of innocence
    with residue of fervent sin still plain
    upon thy soul?”
    I could hear it spoken.

  13. Nanka says:

    Mike we get to see a lot of such scenes in Indian movies 🙂 and it took me to the theater. Picture me sitting at the edge of my seat for a nail biting finish!! Applause!! ..and the house is full!!

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Thank you, Nanka. You have me wondering how much difference there is between Indian and American movies. I would hope yours are better than most of the stuff Hollywood puts out; however, I see the sonnet being performed on stage–I wish.

  14. Seems to have been a good day for sonnets, and this has the authentic classical touch, with your own brand of originality. I enjoyed it immensely.

  15. Mike, a wonderful sonnet and a masterful write. I was leaving a comment and my internet died out for a few minutes, so this may be a duplicate.

    Pamela

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Nope, only got one, Pamela. My internet connection acting froggy has me writing everything in Word lately. My Word program is set to automatically save every five minutes. We’ve had two workmen working on the house connection and up the nearby utility poles. It’s looking like things are fixed, but I’m not ready to lose a couple of hours of work to find out.

  16. Jennifaye says:

    You write sonnets very well, Mike. it’s a talent. Not too many people know how to write it, including me. I should try this some time. 🙂

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Oh, definitely try it. I wrote my first sonnet about six months ago. I believe the discipline of the form, iambic pentameter, and the rhyming scheme, helped all my writing more than anything else I’ve ever done.

  17. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    Yu can poem – that was great.

  18. Mike says:

    A great poem Mike.
    I’ve never tried a sonnet, looks complicated, but I feel inspired to have a go.

  19. Well, of course the pacifist is going to wish they would all “play nicely,” but reality is that this is set in the decade of damsels in distress, so…

    Nicely written sonnet, Michael! I would (if intending to submit for publication) change “thou speak” to “thou speakest,” and is it “within THY vessel” instead of “thou vessel,” or are you addressing the vessel? (Oh, Lord, this is all starting to rhyme… mine head swimmest and fully…)

    Good stuff, Mike! On to the Round Table! Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/third-eye-of-the-sightless-woman-dverse/

  20. magicalmysticalteacher says:

    Brave thou art, Sir Michael–especially to attempt a sonnet! Bravo!

  21. Traci B says:

    Fun poem, Mike – sounded like something I’d expect to hear at a Ren fair right before a staged duel. The only suggestion I have is this: in the third stanza, “thou” probably would read better as “thy” in “thou vaulted verse.”

  22. 1sojournal says:

    Really admire your willingness to place yourself in another time and its language. I too, did not notice the wordle words, too caught up in the scene you created. Bravo,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/

  23. Mr. Walker says:

    Mike, I applaud you for combining those wordle words into a sonnet, which you did beautifully. I think you found a most appropriate form. And the subject matter too, most apropos for a Shakespearean sonnet. And it was fun reading the comments and watching you Viv swish blades at each other.

    Richard

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Thanks, Richard. Viv’s and my blades are padded. I love her like a sister, and she knows it. She is the only friend I feel free to play with like that. Not everyone has the privilege of knowing someone they trust completely. Mostly, I trust her judgement about poems, even if I ignore it from time to time. I’m blessed.

  24. ms pie says:

    there is nothing so rich as a knight his honor and love poetry… shakespear sonnet is well and alive…

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