RELIEF IN SIGHT

I keep seeing all these creative etherees (Amy, I blame this on you), and I’ve never attempted one. I had a problem in getting starting with that single syllable, I couldn’t think of one. Finally, ‘one’ won out. At least ‘a, single, one,’ and ‘only’ won out. Hey, themes are where you find them.

I’m not real happy with the result because the sides aren’t smooth and symmetrical like so many other are. Mine ended up like a misshapen Liberty Bell with a two-by-four patch.

RELIEF IN SIGHT
by Mike Patrick

A
single
thought resides
within   my   head.
One theme from lonely
heart creates my great need.
My  singular   reason   for   living
was   missing   for    so   very   long.
Two weeks vacation seemed forever.
My wife is coming home again this day.

Sandy will be glad to learn I poetically sent her off on a two-week vacation without me. Wonder where she went?

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This entry was posted in Etheree, Love, Poetry, Un-rhyming and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to RELIEF IN SIGHT

  1. So you haven’t really been pining lonely as a cloud! Excellent etheree. Some poems cry out for this treatment, while others need at least tetrameter and stanzas. It’s a case of go with the flow.

  2. Heaven says:

    I have yet to try this form… this is a lovely one you have done. If you like it to come out nicely, you just move or space the words in each line, further out then the one before it. That way, it can come out like a cone (if in the middle).

    And I like your title by the way ~

  3. pmwanken says:

    No….not a patched Liberty Bell…..if your wife had been gone for two weeks, her return would be like a gift….when I think of gifts, I think of Christmas….when I think of Christmas, I think of (among other things) Christmas trees……that’s what it looks like! A Christmas tree!!! 🙂

    OK, now that you’ve FREEd yourself from not knowing where to start and have gotten ONE under your belt….keep ’em comin’! (I would imagine etherees ARE difficult for someone who usually writes in set meter!)

  4. Mike, before I forget, re: symmetry, “Lonesome” could be “lonely,” and “My only reason for life” could be “My singular reason for living”?

    I love that your wife got to go on imaginary retreat. Hope she got a massage and pedicure!! Thanks so much for this, friend.

    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/whose-side-are-they-on-now/

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Thanks, Amy. I’ll try those adjustments. When working with metered poetry, it seems so much easier. I’m not used to visual poetry.

      • OH, and thanks EVER so much for blaming me for the etheree conundrum! I, in turn, can blame Vivienne Blake (in Paris) and Joseph Harker (he of the time travel from the turn of the 20th century, I believe). They got me started. And I think the result after edits is a very fine shape. Kind of like Mrs. Claus’ skirt! Amy

        • pmwanken says:

          Ok…I was about to give Mike a hard time about losing the Christmas tree (see my previous comment), until I saw that you have likened the new shape to Mrs. Claus’ skirt.

          😉

  5. Gowthami says:

    Lovely 🙂

    I like the thought behind!

    Hey, themes are where you find them. so true

    My only reason for life
    was absent for so very long.
    how deep!

  6. adeeyoyo says:

    I love the first half of the poem especially, Mike.

  7. Tilly Bud says:

    Lovely, Mike.

    You don’t have to centre it, you know. Try left-justifying and see if that looks better.

  8. margo roby says:

    I wrote my first etheree a few weeks ago before setting it as a form for one of my Tuesday prompts. I thoroughly enjoyed the process, but I am not good at remembering it as a useful form. I agree with Christmas tree. Something about that first word. I left justified mine and my only problem with that was when one line was longer than the next. Looked odd.
    I think your wife might be justified in asking for a weekend. Hey, you started it.

    margo

  9. Mike says:

    A great etheree Mike. I recently discovered this form and find it quite fascinating in fact you’ve inspired me to go away and try another one.
    Wondering where your wife went on her mythical vacation sounds like a theme for another poem.

  10. Well I love the shape of your bell… it rings of sweet liberty!
    Nice work Mike even if you don’t like it, it seems we all do. 🙂

  11. Hedone says:

    Not only is this a lovely poem…it’s a love letter. A love letter Christmas tree 🙂

  12. jinksy says:

    i think the shape of an etheree comes second to the flow of the words…

  13. totsymae1011 says:

    Good for you sending the wifey off on vacation.
    Nice poem also, It shaped out well to me but I
    know we’re our own worst critics.

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