In The Sunday Whirl, Brenda selected some ‘dark’ words for Wordle #16, http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/wordle-16/. The words she selected were: tender, swept, torments, rusty, prophets, notes, crawling, walk, cement, sun, scars, morning. As contrary as I am, my first thought was to write something upbeat. I had to take my time machine back to the 70s to come up with a future sonnet.

by Mike Patrick

Flicker image by MomaT

The rusty hinges of the neighbor’s gate,
screamed out a greeting to the morning sun
who swept away the scars of last night’s rain
and remnants of a dream I’d just begun.

While traffic crawls around cement, new poured
in dark of night, I walk to work in joy.
Stray thoughts of wistful dreams are now ignored,
preempted by the thoughts of our new boy.

Our tender love created something more
than dusty prophets’ notes have yet foretold.
A bond, a life . . . a future to adore,
was made by you and me to have—to hold.

A sliver of the future, we now guide.
I have no fear, you’re always by my side.

This entry was posted in A Wording Whirl of Sundays, Children, Family, Iambic, Love, Pentameter, Poetry, Rhyming, Sonnet and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to A FUTURE SONNET

  1. TheMsLvh says:

    A true beautiful sonnet Mike. I envy your upbeat ablility for any form you choose to wrtie.

  2. This is delightful – picture and poem – and expresses perfectly the emotion of first parenthood.

  3. Ina says:

    Lovely. Having a child together is the real bond.

  4. Mike, a gorgeous sonnet about life’s precious gift. I also envy your ability to write such wonderful sonnets.


  5. 1sojournal says:

    Ah, you took those “dark” words and made them dance to your own tune in the sunlight. Very well done Mike.


  6. Mary says:

    Mike, this is beautiful. I love what you did with the words. The last two lines are inspired.

  7. pmwanken says:

    Heehee…my reply to Brenda yesterday was something about being contrary and wanting to do the opposite of the suggested “dark” path these words would take. We really ARE brother and sister! 😉

    As for your sonnet…I love the line “a sliver of the future”. Well done.


  8. Traci B says:

    Fantastic sonnet, Mike, and a sweet tribute to your son-net. 😉 A wonderful wordle.

  9. wordcoaster says:

    I like your vision of the future 😉 Mike! I think I wrote a metrically sound sonnet! Check it out:

  10. Nanka says:

    Beautifully written, confidently hopeful and cheerfully optimistic lines in the poem!!

  11. Susannah says:

    That is wonderful! I am glad you turned the wordle words into something so positive. 🙂

  12. adeeyoyo says:

    Beautifully crafted, Mike. I loved the way you have used the words provided in such a naturally flowing poem.

  13. Mike, once again, you amaze me with your command of forms, in this case, the sonnet.
    You used the Wordle to great effect, and I say, Bravo! for the upbeat message. Lovely. Amy
    Here’s mine: DARK! http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/i-heard-the-news-today-oh-boy/

  14. Donna Kiser says:

    Agree with all and am in awe of how you controlled each line, image, and emotion to an exact purpose while still using all the Wordle words. Bravo!

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