CASTLE KEEP

For me, the words in The Sunday Whirl’s, http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/, wordle 15 came alive. While reading them, I had a remarkably detailed visual image. Oh, how I wish I had the delicate writing talents of Harry Nicholson or Earlybird so I could place that image in a post as detailed as what I saw. Even then, it would be hundreds of lines long.

The wordle prompt was: image, splinters, fear, rattles, holy, fortress, voices, jangle, sprout, pierce, weed, vision. What do you see?

CASTLE KEEP
by Mike Patrick

Again I wake from troubled sleep,
A vision burned into my mind.
An image of the distant past—
each night, again, my sleep it finds.

A holy fortress under siege,
I see within my frequent dream.
The voices of a host upraised,
I hear as but a single scream.

A thousand splinters fill the air
as arrows slowly arc to ground.
They pierce between the armor chinks
and sprout, like weeds of death abound.

Siege engines heave the massive rocks,
which cave the front gate down complete.
A vengeful horde goes rushing in
to storm the castle’s lofty keep.

The jangle of cold steel grows near.
Death rattles echo through the hall.
In fear I raise a trembling hand . . .
and from the fearful dream I fall.

What link have I with such a past?
Why does it ever haunt my sleep?
Did I exist so long ago
and meet my death in castle’s keep?

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This entry was posted in A Wording Whirl of Sundays, Death, Fear, Iambic, Old Times, Organic, Poetry, Religion, Rhyming, Tetrameter, Warriors and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to CASTLE KEEP

  1. TheMsLvh says:

    A former life? How exciting! Of course your meter is right on and loved the rhyme of 2 and 4.

  2. A splendidly dramatic vision, so well expressed that I could see it through your eyes.

  3. Laurie Kolp says:

    Amazing, Mike… the ending is powerful, makes you think.

  4. Marianne says:

    Beautiful, powerful poem, Mike!

  5. Mary says:

    Mike, a very interesting wordle. I like the story it tells and the questioning at the end. Some dreams are just haunting!

  6. 1sojournal says:

    I could see a bard, playing a small lute, as he sang this poem/song to an enraptured audience, of satin and brocade covered guests sitting at wooden tables, stone walls all around and a huge fire roaring in the fireplace of the castle keep. I love dreams and the messages they offer to us. This is a very vivid and detailed use of the wordle words. Congratulations Mike,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/

  7. Irene says:

    This is an oral poem and almost remind me of The Ancient Mariner type tale.

  8. pmwanken says:

    absolutely enchanting recollection of a dream

    I stand in awe.

    ~Paula

  9. Tilly Bud says:

    Wonderfully descriptive poem, Mike.

  10. Susannah says:

    “Siege engines heave the massive rocks,
    which cave the front gate down complete.
    A vengeful horde goes rushing in
    to storm the castle’s lofty keep.”

    Love the rhythm of this verse especially. The whole thing is great to read aloud and I love your summing up at the end. You have forged a vivid story from these wordle words. Well done!

  11. You seem as if you had the vision ‘there’ as soon as you saw the words, I did exactly the same thing. As soon as I saw the words, the ‘story’ was writing itself in my mind.
    A great write Mike, and great use of the wordle words.

  12. Mike, you have reached back into history and found a place for yourself there. The phrase “Castle Keep” resonates for me because it stands as the last bastion of defense… and you hope it never comes to that. Is this a real dream for you, or did it some to light through the Wordle?

    Really loved this, sir. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/lost-in-the-weeds/

  13. earlybird says:

    Oh wow! I loved this. Thank you for the compliment, Mike, but this is really good. You captured that heavy feeling of waking from a ‘real’ dream really well in the first stanza and I liked the way you describe waking yourself out of it in the 5th. I’ve been reading quite a lot set in the 16th century recently so this fits right in there.

  14. brenda w says:

    This is amazing, Mike. The image came alive for me. I will be back to read this piece again, and hope the dreams continue.

  15. Nanka says:

    Lovely story well crafted and liked the idea of a past life revisited!!

  16. Hey, I haven’t seen you in “forever.” Saw your link on Viv’s page and decided I’d better check you out. I’m glad I did. This is a great flow of rhythmn and rhyme.

  17. torquethis says:

    Nicely done. I don’t see where you had any trouble at all conveying an image to me!! That era in time just happens to be my favorite too.

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