I’m finally coming to grips with enjambment through using it until if feels right—well, it will never feel right, but it has become acceptable; perhaps something like when my daughter started dating. Anyway, I thought I’d give it one more shot as a booster.

Wordle #12 from The Sunday Whirl,, had some interesting words: poem, word, river, instinct, resist, thought, buzz, logic, galloping, whim, twisted, fluttered. This set of words was the opposite of last weeks. This one followed my usual organic style of writing and letting the words follow where they will. My muse wanted un-rhyming iambic pentameter this week, so I had to change the form of one of the words. “Galloping” is a dactyl foot, and the only way to make it iamb was change it to “galloped.”

by Mike Patrick

Twas not a night to be about, a storm
was drawing near. Sweet Sally’s letter called
me out; for she would read her latest poem
upon the Flying Mare’s wee stage at ten.

She’d sat beside me as she wrote, each word
proclaiming her undying love. Tonight
the world would learn the truth, she’d swear her troth,
and I would face the wrath of Johnson’s sword.

As lightning flashed and rain poured down, my roan’s
instinct made him resist to the river path.
I urged him on, all thought gone, midst
the buzz of love, mere logic held no sway.

I galloped oer the riverbank, ahead
of swirling hell. Upon a whim, I glanced
above and saw a twisted spout. The roan
and I found shelter nigh and hid awhile,

until the storm was gone. A mile away,
the Flying Mare could not be seen. A bit
of paper fluttered down and lit upon
my hand; the rain-wet ink I’d seen before.

Twas Sweet Sally’s final poem, the one
she’d writ of us. No one will ever know
the love we shared, because this paper heart
is all that’s left they’ll ever find of me.

This entry was posted in A Wording Whirl of Sundays, Blank Verse, Death, Iambic, Lost Love, Love, Organic, Pentameter, Poetry, Un-rhyming, Weather and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to THE POEM READING

  1. TheMsLvh says:

    The more I read your stunning words,
    the soul of poetry invades
    my heart, captivating its beat.
    Your words illuminate the art.

  2. Laurie Kolp says:

    Very touching and sad… goes to show you how quickly things can change.

  3. Mary says:

    You managed to weave quite a fine tale here, Mike….but oh, such a sad ending!

  4. margo roby says:

    I am glad you continue to play/struggle with enjambment. Now it becomes something you can come back to, but also something you will be conscious of when choosing words for your rhymes [uh huh, didn’t think of that, did you?]. The enjambment cell never quite goes away.

    Knew what was going to happen as soon as you mentioned spout but not how. The paper heart of the poem is lovely in its poignancy.


    • Mike Patrick says:

      I’m sure I understand it, but it has never felt right. By reading past the normal stop points, it feels like it unbalances the meter; but I’ve crawled through the rabbit hole now and I can never go back. It would be nice if I could get over the feeling of being lost though.

      • margo roby says:

        Trust me here, Mike, you will. You haven’t been at it that long and you have trained your brain in a different direction. Keep at it and I promise you, you will one day look forward to it.

  5. vivinfrance says:

    Relax, Mike, let it come when it will. Your practice has paid off, you can do it – now sit back and let it come naturally, use it as a tool when necessary, and not when not. I really admire your eagerness to use all the poetic tools you find, your persistence in finding the right way.

    As for this poem, it’s a great story, incredibly well told.

  6. Mike, I love the paper heart, what a lovely touch. The enjambment works well.


  7. Awwww what a sad ending to a lovely wordle tale!

  8. pmwanken says:

    Lovely story, as only you can tell it, my friend.

    Thought I’d share a quote from a friend of mine:

    “write what comes
    then after you’re used to it coming
    then write what seems to be coming
    then after you’re used to anticipating it
    write what is”

    This is something I keep reminding myself, as well. As all the forms become more familiar to you, you’ll know just what’s needed, where.


  9. ladynimue says:

    Loved the end ..

  10. Very moving and well written.

  11. nan says:

    Enchanting and sad. The ending is very strong. The paper heart image is lasting both in poem and in mind.

  12. Marianne says:

    I never even thought about the wordle words I was so intent on reading your poem! You’ve told a grand story here!

  13. Traci B says:

    What a tragic ending to a promising tale. The enjambment serves the narrative well, carrying the reader along the current of the story. Excellently written.

  14. thingy says:

    Beautiful and sad. : (

  15. Anonymous says:

    A beautiful but tragic love story. While reading these lines I felt as if I was reading a masterpiece from the past.

  16. Love the rhythm of this, Mike, and the classic structure. Really lovely.

  17. Mike, this is amazing writing. I know you are tentative about your gifts, but you truly have something to cherish: A thoughtful mind, along with a willingness to give yourself over to form. I say stick with it. I’m looking forward to your unique writings! Amy

  18. brenda w says:

    Mike, I admire the way you carry the horse through from the Flying Mare to the narrator’s galloping. I could feel that horse carry me through your beautiful narrative and lyrical poem.
    Exquisite write.

  19. Susannah says:

    I love to see where the wordle words lead us all. I really enjoyed reading yours. 🙂

  20. Jingle says:

    amazing finish, thanks for sharing.

    visiting from poets untied,

    join poets rally week 48 today, blessings.

  21. Mr. Walker says:

    Mike, your ability to tell a story continues to please. I know it doesn’t rhyme, but it has the feel of a ballad, including the sad ending.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s