THE GREEN BOTTLE

One Stop Poetry, http://onestoppoetry.com/, gave several iPad drawings by Alison Jardine for the Welcome to Friday Poetically prompt. All the drawing can all be seen at http://onestoppoetry.com/2011/06/one-stop-spotlight-artist-alison-jardine.html. I chose Bottle Out.

It’s difficult to give any type of process notes. I looked at that bottle and started writing. I have NO idea where this came from, didn’t know where it was going and didn’t know how it was going to end. I’m not sure it makes any sense. Probably the strangest thing I ever wrote. I only hope the readers can make out the words.

THE GREEN BOTTLE
by Mike Patrick

Bottle Out – iPad Drawing by Alison Jardine

Forty years ago, the first time I ever saw him,
old man Burke had it sloppin’ around loose
in the back pocket of his overalls.
Everbody knowed what it was,
he weren’t foolin’ nobody.
Some called it his jug,
some his bottle.
Mystery was, what was in it?
Ain’t polite to go all over tarnation
and never offer nobody a drink.
Course, I never seen him take a snort nuther.
Never saw him drunk—now ain’t that sumpem?

Whenever somebody ask him what were in it,
He’d say it were liniment to make a man a fool.
Hell, everbody knows alcohol makes a man a fool.
Ever summer, I’d come home,
and thar he’d be, with that bottle in his overalls.
Hell, might be the same overalls all them years.

‘Twere August 28, couple weeks ago,
I seen Burke slide outen the barn,
and that bottle plumb slipped out.
It were sittin’ up there inside the hayloft door,
all shining green in the sun.
I sneaked up and grabbed it right quick
and went hide behind the tractor.
It were hot, and I were dry.
Teach that old man to keep good liquor to hisself.
I drained her in four big gulps,
and I ain’t made no fool outen myself yet.
Burke never found out what happened
to his old green bottle,
but he grins big at me, each time we meet.
He ain’t never gonna find out nuther.
I leave for college tomorrow.
Gonna have thirty-eight seniors in my mornin English class this year.
I’ll learn em sumpem . . . I’ll learn em.

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This entry was posted in Doggerel, Free Verse, Humor, One Stop Poetry, Poetry, Un-rhyming and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to THE GREEN BOTTLE

  1. vivinfrance says:

    Great dialect writing. I can see these two clearly, giggle at the ending. I do hope it wasn’t horse liniment!

    First stanza: overalls doesn’t need an apostrophe.

  2. Claudia says:

    oh wow – what great storytelling…really enjoyed your poem…excellent write!

  3. brian says:

    haha nice bit of story telling…i was so thinking it was going to be something harmless…like the accent…mind me o wer i growd up…

  4. hedgewitch says:

    Love the ending. It always amazes me when poems come like that out of the blue, as if they want to be written.

  5. hahaha… great dialect! Soooooo I guess as you never suffered it was booze and not linament!
    A fun and great read, thank you! 🙂

  6. How can you weave all of these together? Very poignant.

  7. Renee Espriu says:

    Well, you just never know do you! Very funny and so well written.

  8. I just love the voice in this one…you pulled off the dialogue so well. Your writing just keeps getting better and better!

  9. b_y says:

    That happens now and then, doesn’t it? Somebody just sits down in your head and starts saying things. Turn it down about half a notch, and you’ve got an uncle of mine.

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