LIKE A BUTTERFLY

The prompt for Carry On Tuesday http://carryontuesdayprompt.blogspot.com/ is from Muhammad Ali, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”

I couldn’t really get a handle on this one. It wanted to wander around, but then, it’s a butterfly.

LIKE A BUTTERFLY
by Mike Patrick

Flickr image by CubaGallery

Like a charging butterfly,
you enter my life from everywhere.
Color encircles me, activity explodes.
So softly, your kisses pepper me.

In a silent dance, you float,
mesmerizing me with flitting color,
locking eyes in wonder
that such as you exist.

Only when you alight within my arms
can I be sure you’re real.
Your arms go round my neck,
and I rejoice, within your butterfly net.

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This entry was posted in Carry On Tuesday, Free Verse, Love, Poetry, Un-rhyming and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to LIKE A BUTTERFLY

  1. There’s no-one quite like you for writing real love poems – a genre I find more or less impossible. This one’s lovely. You don’t need the apostrophe before round in the last stanza – I realise it’s for the abbreviation of around, but round does just as well!
    Love,
    ViV

  2. Good one, Mike.
    That species, the monarch butterfly, indeed charges across continents.
    The metaphor could be taken further if you wished.
    Two suggestions from this reader. 2nd verse: perhaps lose the words ‘me’ and ‘can’, it might bring a slightly smoother read and give more emphasis to ‘exist’ and relieve the three ‘me’ sounds in 2nd line of verse 2. Just a thought.

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Thank you, Harry. Excellent suggestions. The corrections have been made. I have a difficult time feeling the flow when not using meter. Most of this poem is in iamb, which helps, but it isn’t consistent enough for me to feel.

  3. Nara Malone says:

    Beautifully romantic.

  4. That’s so lovely!

  5. Renee Espriu says:

    Beautiful piece, Mike! I love this and its’ imagery and the words to describe a passion, a love, and the depth
    of both.

  6. Becca Givens says:

    You are the man of romance … one lucky wife!!! 🙂

  7. Ena says:

    Beautiful. I love your poetry 🙂

  8. Tilly Bud says:

    Lovely love poem. Mrs Mike must be a happy woman 🙂

  9. margo roby says:

    I was startled when I realised halfway through the first stanza that this was not your usual metered poetry, and neither did you rhyme. I like the result, but understand your uneasiness. I also think it’s healthy to stray away from your comfort zone, especially if we get something like this poem [she says, having tried metre once and rhyme never!]. There is so much movement and I wonder if you could achieve the same with metre aside from iambs. Movement here is because of word choice. And I adore the last line.

    margo

  10. Deborah says:

    I just loved it, perfectly done! :o)

  11. Susan says:

    A beautiful love story. Highly imaginative to find images of love and beauty in simple things.
    Thank you Mike for your constructive criticism on my poem about the rain. I being an amateur poet always welcome such suggestions and corrections on my wrting.

  12. gsb3 says:

    This is a lovely poem, very romantic. And your word choice makes it very interesting.

  13. amtrumble says:

    I freakin love this.

  14. short poems says:

    Lovely write up, I love your poetry 🙂

    • Mike Patrick says:

      Thank you, Marinela. You may be the youngest reader to visit me, and back when you started writing poetry at six, you were certainly younger than any poet I’ve ever heard of. I stopped by your site for a quick look and had to close my eyes to tear myself away. You are amazingly gifted (how many people have their first book published eight and the second before they are twelve). Thank you for stopping by. I hope everyone who lands here takes the time to check out your site at http://marinelareka.com/.

  15. swapna says:

    Hi Mike- Nice of you to stop by. It was lovely to discover your writing here. fellow word lover, its a rare moment when one is found 🙂

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