The ‘We Write Poems’ Thursday prompt was to write on something unexpected or surprising. As my regular readers know, some of . . . okay, almost all of my writing comes as a surprise. Rarely, as I type my first line, do I have any idea what will follow; so, this should be a ‘normal’ poem for me. NOTE: The first stanza is presented exactly as written, and is a totally true statement of my writing style. In many of my poems, I end up deleting the first stanza exactly because it was in effect doodling and had no direction or meaning. You will see why this one had to stay.

by Mike Patrick

Flickr image by inmyplace-

This lonely line was written
without a thought of where to go.
A total string-of-consciousness,
it idly wanders to and fro.

And now I feel a painful tug.
From what? I have no way to know.
It pulls me down an unknown path,
just like an ocean’s undertow.

At last! I’m free of this dead husk
I’ve used as my unwilling host.
He didn’t know that letting go
would ever place me uppermost.

Oh, I still feel him scratching ’round
that awful place I used to live,
but unlike him, I’ll never cede.
No ruling power will I give.

As this fool spent his waking hours
in honor, kindness, love and trust,
I managed to survive in dreams
of horror, fear and torture’s lust.

Now running free and in control,
some things will change ’round here.
I will be coming soon for you.
Some things are worthy of your fear.

This entry was posted in Fear, Iambic, Organic, Poetry, Rhyming, Tetrameter, We Write Poems and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to FREE AT LAST

  1. vivinfrance says:

    That sure is a surprise! Bravo for the statement of intent!

  2. misssarawithoutanh says:

    “He didn’t know that letting go
    would ever place me uppermost.”

    I am so moved by these words. How perfectly you’ve stated this.

  3. Old-Raven says:

    This is interesting and an uncommon take on “fear.”

  4. TC says:

    Great development and images. Am so impressed on how clever this is!

  5. Mike, this piece developed nicely. The ending is superb!


  6. Christy says:

    Wow! Well done! You lead up to it powerfully then ended with a punch! Enjoyed reading this 🙂


  7. 1sojournal says:

    I often write in the same manner. Go with the first string of words and then just follow where they lead. I like where this took you and your reader. Letting go and just following can often lead to the most surprising places.


  8. brenda w says:

    We feed fear, no doubt. Write on!

  9. Mr. Walker says:

    Mike, that second to last stanza, about the fool and the dreams – powerful! It’s as if fear itself is now loose in the world. The irony of the title is chilling.


  10. neil reid says:

    Maybe the word is forceful, rather than powerful, for what this poem paints. Perhaps too it makes some more sense since I read something of your history first. It is a simple concept here, but well stated and most vividly.

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