The Cloaked Monk’s, http://cloakedmonk.com/, MarchChallenge prompt for the 29th is, “Effervescence.” Finding myself about halfway between a wine connoisseur and a wino, to me effervescence is bubbles in the wine.
Now the problem was using it in some kind of poem. Thanks to R.J. Clarkson, and her “Circus” post yesterday in her Light Verse – Just for Fun blog at http://1ightverse.blogspot.com/2011/03/when-circus-comes-to-town.html, I learned another poetry form called a “Monotetra.” The ‘tetra’ stands for tetrameter (eight syllables in each line), which has four lines to each stanza, and the last two feet of the last line are repeated in each stanza . Not sure what the ‘mono’ stands for unless it’s for the repetitive last-word rhyming sound in each of the stanza’s four lines. After giving it a shot, I actually like the aggressive rhythm it creates. Every line in the stanza seems to go consecutively faster than the previous as it’s read; then chokes down to a sob for the last half of that repeated line. Neat, but it was unintentional.
My question for the gentle readers is, should I reverse the order of the last two stanzas?
BUBBLES IN THE WINE
by Mike Patrick
I’m counting bubbles in the wine,
it’s just my way of wasting time;
thinking about our times divine
and what was mine . . . and what was mine.
Three lonely hours, time unset,
while contemplating how we met.
I wonder why I can’t forget
the life I bet . . . the life I bet.
The bright, red wine, which was our glue,
somehow broke love’s bond in two,
allowing me to cheat on you.
What can I do? What can I do?
The tiny bubbles’ rising glee,
so quickly made a fool of me.
Take back my broken heart’s debris.
O hear my plea, O hear my plea.