I have a news flash today for my lady readers: Guys do not like to be dumped. I know . . . this is shocking news, but it is true.
After being dumped, men respond in one of several ways depending on their state of evolution. Neanderthals get physical. This is NEVER acceptable. As a cop, I often advised the dumper to get a restraining order against the dumpee. In extreme cases, I have advised the dumper to get a firearm and learn how to use it.
Another tactic used by a more evolved guy is to strive for pity. If one appears pitiful enough, perhaps lady fair will reconsider. Moping, crying, and even going to the extreme of mailing sweet lady a poem a day (I’m not sure where that last idea comes from . . . uh, must have heard about that one somewhere) have been used. This tactic almost never works.
Perhaps the best strategy used is to play it off as unimportant. Paint on an artificial face of iron determination and independence. Yeah, right.
by Mike Patrick
Alone, solitary, dependent on none.
No one to care, no reason to run.
Freedom of choice and action is mine.
Only myself to draw the line.
No more anger, no more pain.
Maybe freedom is a desirable thing.
No more questions, no more lies.
No more hurting, all night cries.
Tall and unyielding I’ll face the storm.
In winter, my anger will keep me warm.
I can stand tough and hard and stone.
With only one problem . . . I’ll be alone.